For once this isn’t some cool double-entrendre title that I love almost as much as everyone else hates. Now this is just a quick post about some games I’m playing right now that I felt like writing about. Why should you give a shit? You shouldn’t. Holy shit. Why are you even reading this? Read a dog, kiss a book, take your wife for a walk. Seriously.
Telltale’s Game of Thrones
There’s a lot of people who are disappointed with this game for various reasons that roughly amount to: I’ve played a Telltale game before. Luckily for me, I haven’t. I do own The Wolf Among Us but haven’t started it yet. Telltale does an option job of capturing the “holy shit, there is literally nothing right I can do or say” aspect of all that is Westerosi politics. So far I’ve gotten one lordling killed, pissed off Cersei, pissed off Margaery, gotten Margaery beaten by Joffrey, gotten my principal export stolen by my rival, and lost my betrothal to a potential ally. This game would be frustrating if it wasn’t so engrossing. Trying to make split-second decisions and anticipate how other people will respond to them; it’s fucking intense. And the song at the end of episode two made me teary-eyed. I haven’t gotten this emotional about a game since James McCloud said he’d always be with me…. *sniff*
Basically a SimCity game that doesn’t suck! The long-time studio behind SimCity, Maxis, was just down by all-around shitty corporation, EA, after the failure of the most recent SimCity game. I bought and played that game and it was garbage. Cities: Skylines is not garbage (though garbage collection is an annoying concern in one of my cities). C: S takes all that is simple and intuitive about SimCity and strips away all of the suck. It makes setting up public transit easy; you can rename anything in your city, including creating districts; you can build on 9x the space of the most recent SimCity; you can download cool, new user-created shit to put in your game; and it all looks pretty damn cool, too. It’s not an overally complicated or difficult game (you run out of money but you just take out loans until you grow big enough that taxes will more than cover the interest and when you repay the loans you’ll have more cash than you know what to do this… a strategy that is legimately impossible, IRL. Sorry, grad students).
Shadow of Mordor
I beat this game about a month or so ago, but holy shit was it worth every penny. If you like the responsive combat of Assassin’s Creed or any of the Batman Arkham games, but wish there was more violent decapitations then this is THE game for you… weirdo. Combat in this game is so satisfying, and oddly gorgeous. I cannot explain to you the simple joy of making an orc’s fucking head explode in front of 50 other orcs, all simultaneously trying to kill you, and have the game render the horror on their faces as they realize just how fucked they are… BUT, if you die (i.e. you suck, because unless you’re fight 2,000 orcs – which is close to possible – you probably shouldn’t die) whichever orc(s) kill you get promoted. They get names, traits, and they will taunt your fucking ass when you come back to kill them. Legit, there was one rat-faced one that literally just licked his lips and laughed maniacally in my face. That dude was creepy (I cut his head off). The names are randomly generated so if you’re lucky you might run into As-Dush (pronounced in game – I am not making this up – as Ass-Douche).
That’s about it; the next episode of Game of Thrones comes out tomorrow, and I have a lot more dicking around to do in Cities: Skylines, but I’m also thinking about diving into the Batman Arkham games next. I started the first one of 360, but they’re all relatively cheap via Steam at the moment. There’s not too many new games – aside from maybe Witcher III – that look all that interesting to me. Bloodborne isn’t really my thing and Pillars of Eternity looks like way to much meta-gaming and pausing to be fun in the long run, but what do I know? Like I said, you shouldn’t even be reading this.